Jean-ius – the flare is back ‘in’

15 Apr

There’s one item of clothing that I really do not enjoy shopping for – and that’s jeans. A usual scenario is that you pull a pair of jeans off the shelf in a colour you like, and a size that usually fits. You go into the dressing room, and you have to take off your shoes and pants, which is a bit time consuming. If you’ve got kids, this type of shopping is out of the question – until they invent a fitting room that includes a play room. So – you’re now semi-naked – time to put the jeans on. You get one leg in and think ‘hmm.. feels a bit snug.’ Then you get the other leg in and think ‘gee.. must have piled on a few kilos.’
Then, if you’re lucky, you get them to your waist and start sucking in your stomach to get the zip up, and then hop about the fitting room (if it’s big enough) while holding your breath in, trying to get.. that.. last.. button… done…. up. You take a look in the mirror and realise that skinny jeans are only meant for 6 foot tall supermodels. They tend to accentuate any slight curve in the hip and thigh, in a less than flattering way. And, for some reason, they can make you look a little short – I think it’s because the hem stops at the ankle, rather than going right to the floor. This is OK if you wear them with sky-high stilettos. But when you spend your life in playgrounds and at mother’s groups – they’re not quite the thing. Aagghh, it’s a nightmare. Jeans are one of the few fashion items where you really have no idea how they are going to look until you put them on. and by the time you do get them on and realise they’re wrong, you’re so sick of the process that you go home – jean-less, which is a problem if, like they are for me, jeans are pretty much a uniform. So – what’s the good news in all this? Well, according to a lot of the fashion blogs I follow and the fash mags I read, the flare jean has come storming back into fashion. OK – so I know the word ‘flare’ probably conjures up images of bad taste 70s clothing. But – the reality is that the ‘flare jean’ is basically a bootcut jean, but with a slider wider ‘flare’ at the hem. You don’t want too much ‘flare’ (AKA bell bottoms) as you will start looking looking a little like you’re off to a 70s fancy dress party. A modest ‘flare’ is great for the average woman who needs that extra width at the bottom, to balance out the hips and thighs. Also, the looser fit at the bottom means they’re a little easier to get on – great for when you’re in the dressing room, and want to avoid hopping round like a crazed rabbit. And – while we’re on the subject – I really don’t understand why people spend huge amounts of money (like over $200) on a pair of jeans. Let’s face it – they’re made of denim. They can’t be THAT expensive to make. In fact, the best pair of jeans I have ever bought came from Kmart. A $30 bargain. I was also given a fabulous pair of bootcut Miletta maternity jeans  – the bootcut/flare is fantastic when you are the size of a small elephant. Being a fashion victim, I have squeezed myself into skinny jeans for the past couple of years. I’m over them. This winter, I’ve resolved to go back to the ‘flare’. Now – I just have to muster up the enthusiasm to go shopping for them.


One Response to “Jean-ius – the flare is back ‘in’”

  1. Anonymous April 15, 2011 at 4:58 am #

    i remember a velvet pinstrip suit that i "inherited" from my father when he discovered it was the ugliest thing he has ever worn.they had more flare than a wizards sleeve.maybe i should get them out of the cryovac packaging and give them one more go….

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