How old is too old for a jumpsuit?

14 Jun

Jumpsuits are a staple fashion item in my household. For my five month old, that is. I love ’em. They’re easy to put on, (apart from the RSI you get from the press studs – there are a lot of them) baby can wear them to bed, and out and about, (negating the need for more than one change a day, which is great when your baby is too little to follow instructions like ‘lift your arms into the sleeves’ – hell – she barely knows her own name. In fact, she probably doesn’t know her own name) and there’s no need for socks ’cause you can get them with little built-in feet. T-shirts and pants just don’t work for babies in winter. Baby t-shirts seem to have a built-in design flaw which makes them automatically ride up, displaying a delicious expanse of white, pudgy baby-tummy. This is fine when it’s 25 degrees outside, but when it’s 5 degrees, it’s bone chilling. So, jumpsuits it is. I often look at her at think ‘gosh that looks comfy and cosy, I wouldn’t mind one of those’. And, you know what, there are plenty of jumpsuits available for adult women. Designers have been sending them down the runway for a couple of years now, trying to convince us that we all need one in our wardrobe.
 However, they are flogging them as a trendy fashion item, not as a comfy, snuggy (the wearable blanket thing) type item. They have certainly infiltrated red carpets around the world. At the recent MTV Movie Awards, I counted no less than three celebs wearing jumpsuits. One was 13 year old Elle Fanning, who looked very sweet and age-appropriate in her pink-printed romper. But it was a little cheap-looking. Yes? I thought it was something from a chain store, like H & M. I snorted through my weetbix when I read it was Dolce and Gabbana, so probably bears a price-tag in the thousands of dollars. Couture rompers for 13 year olds. Madness. Then I saw the normally very hot Jessica Szohr looking extremely less than hot in her black and white paisley print all-in-one. Awful. A lesson in how to age yourself in 10 years. She looks like a 1970s house-wife who would serve up devils-on-horseback at a cocktail party. Last but not least, Cameron Diaz. Great pins – yes. But I think the whole va-va-voom effect is dulled down by the fact her shirt is attached to her shorts. It’s just… baby-ish… for a woman who’s 39 years old. The mind boggles at just how she would go to the toilet in that thing. She’d have to get naked, that’s for sure. I’m sure her romper doesn’t come with press-studs in the crotch. My conclusion is this – jumpsuits have an age limit. I think that limit is about 12-14 years of age when a girl can still be officially called a child. So while I can envy my baby’s comfort in her jumpsuit, I refuse to ‘go there’. It’s just not right for an adult woman to wear something that can be referred to as a ‘onesie’. I mean really, can you imagine someone saying ‘gee, you look really hot in that onesie‘? It’s kind of like thinking that you can look hot in a skivvy. Well, you could be literally hot, in the sense of feeling sweaty, but you can’t really feel sexy, can you? It’s the same with jumpsuits – good for comfort but bad if you want to look like an adult.

Elle Fanning

Jessica Szohr

Cameron Diaz



One Response to “How old is too old for a jumpsuit?”

  1. Anonymous June 14, 2011 at 7:58 am #

    fat elvis – if he couldnt pull it off then no one can…

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