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Bridesmaids – it’s not about you, it’s about the bride

22 Jun

The movie, Bridesmaids, is getting big raps isn’t it? Chicks can be funny, say the reviewers. Who knew? Umm… the 50% of the population that have a v-jay-jay probably could have told you that. Anyway, in a nutshell, Bridesmaids is about thirty something year old Annie, whose life has turned to crap – dud career, dud love-life, dud everything. And then her best friend, Gillian, announces she’s getting married and wants Annie to be her maid of honour. Bad move. Annie’s crap life gets more crap and she turns out to be the maid-of-honour from hell, ruining every single pre-wedding event possible in the most outrageous (and funny) ways. Annie clearly didn’t get the memo about how to be the perfect bridesmaid. Basically, it’s like being a parent – it’s all about a putting someone else’s needs before your own. I’ve been a bridesmaid twice. On both occasions, the brides were lovely and it was all smooth sailing. But I have heard horror stories. When I was getting my wedding dress altered, the seamstress told me she no longer made bridesmaid dresses because the sneaky little minxs were always going behind the bride’s back and asking to get their dresses altered. The poor old dressmaker was piggy in the middle of a bride war.
A good bridesmaid’s mantra must be – ‘it’s all about the bride’. You are the maid to the bride, you’re there to serve. You’re the one who has to hold up the dress while the bride does her number ones on the toilet, or worse, number twos. The bride wants you at the hairdressers at 5am – you say ‘Sure, I bet the sunrise at Tony and Guy is really beautiful’. The bride asks you to wear a so-tight-you-can’t-breathe hot pink, taffeta number with cascading layers of ruffles – you say ‘I love, love, love it. As long as you love it, I love it!’ – and say it sincerely. To my mind, Pippa Middleton was the perfect bridesmaid. She was attentive to her sister, attending to her needs during the ceremony (photos below) and arranging her train at the important moments. She also kept a firm (but gentle) grip on those potentially wayward little flower girls. And – as we all know – she looked stunning. I am of the view that a bridesmaid’s dress should compliment the bride’s. It should neither be too elaborate so as to overshadow the bride, nor should it be awful, so as to be distracting. Pippa’s frock really just served to enhance the overall beauty of the picture. But you know what was most helpful about Pippa? In those days after the wedding, when Prince William and his new bride just wanted to be left alone, it was Pippa who filled the media vacuum. The world went potty for Pippa and every part of her life – job, boyfriends, bum – were dissected by the tabloids. While she was being hounded by the paps (and still is) her sister and new husband were left in blissful solitude to start their married life away from the media glare. I’m not saying it was a deliberate decision by Kate or William to thrust Pippa into the media spotlight – the fact is – the media did that all on its own, but gee, Kate must be really stoked at how her sister has defused the spotlight that was beaming on her. The fact is, that level of instant fame can be hard to handle – some people would crack under the pressure, lash out at the press, or simply run away and hide under a rock. To Pippa’s credit, she seems to be handling her new found fame with grace – neither seeking the attention, nor shirking from it – ever the perfect bridesmaid. If only Annie was taking notes.